Return of Saturn

Photos by Lydia Hudgens

If you're well versed in astrology, feel free to skip this paragraph, but if not: I want to start this post by explaining a little bit about the Saturn return, a totally cosmic, transformative period in one's life where Saturn returns to the sign it was in when you were born. It's sometimes a gentle (and sometimes a very aggressive) push into the next chapter of your adult life, one usually marked by a period of challenge, of chaos, of deep personal exploration and confrontation of all your deepest insecurities, fears, and of letting go. Saturn is kind of like a really, really intense personal trainer trying it's best to make you grow tougher and stronger, forcing you to show up and push through. And I did. And it was hard. And there were points in that two+ year period (yes, most Saturn return periods last at least a couple of years, usually somewhere around 27-31 years old) where I really didn't think I'd make it to the other side, but here I am.I've learned a lot. I didn't necessarily want all those lessons to happen at once, but I took them, learned from them, and I think today I am genuinely a stronger, better, and more grounded person because of them. It's taken a bit of distance and time away and out of what felt like a period of unbearable pain to be able to reflect back and appreciate the growth I've accomplished. I've learned that what is for us, will be for us. That not everything will last forever, and that's okay. That grief is not a singular event, but one which will come in waves and which I had to allow time and space to happen. I've learned that not every experience, or person, or event requires a reaction. I've learned to say no. I've learned that boundaries are an absolutely radical act of self-love. I've learned to ask for help. I haven't quite mastered the art of work-life balance, yet, but I'm also learning to be okay with forever being a work in progress - so long as I'm committed to that progress. While I've marked this period of change in an endless number of ways in my personal and private life, I wanted this space which I've been cultivating for years to come into this new chapter with me! I worked with an amazing designer, Aleksandra from Adored Designs, to help create a site which I felt better reflected the woman I am today and all the things which I wanted to allow space to explore, write about, and share. My blog hadn't really grown up or evolved with me, and this was a long overdue investment I wanted to make in order to re-commit myself to my little side-hustle and passion. As the co-founder of a new business, Premme, I also wanted a space to share a bit more intimately about my road to entrepreneurship. I don't feel like it's a coincidence that the launch of mine and Gabi's brand coincided with such a challenging time in my personal life, and it's been an experience I've been deeply appreciative of and grateful for.So things are going to look a little different, around here, and I'm planning on actually using my blog a bit more to share some of the things inspiring me, the challenges I've experienced as a small-business owner, navigating mindfulness and wellness, and just all the small ways I'm experiencing and finding joy in my life.I don't have a super clear sense of the future and where things are heading, but I know I'm excited to see it all and continue to evolve as a human - and if you're still here, I'm honored to be sharing it with you.